For The Record

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She did not match the data presented

in hospital speak to a crowd of learners.

It was not so much a lie

as it was a revealing – a tale.

The well and the ill are stories

told from all sides of a hospital bed

in space and time

not captured in code and computer screens.

So let the record so reflect

the hurt and the heart of

hands reaching

and healing

beyond the numbering of days.

 

 

Photography thanks to Nick Van Zanten

Mourning rounds

 

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From the opposite side, I watched the murder

some might say suicide.

Racing never an attempt to waver.

Morning speed a must.

Indecisive the victim scrambled left -right

then frozen in fear –crushed by the weight

a heart stopped.

A morning death always makes me cry.

 

Photo courtesy of blumworks@wordpress

On a limb

autumoct-25-2016.jpgI really depend on problems.  They engage my intellect. Energy flows best in me while in the “problem solving” mode.

But it’s killing me.

I spend hours intellectually solving the emotional crisis created in make-believe power struggles to right a wrong. I tune in preferentially to the oppression of wrong thinking, ready to push back.  My eyes notice first the thing “wrong” with the picture.

I was educated to do this. My skills honed to fix the broken.

I have the mind of science, dissection as discovery.

Did I mention it’s killing me?

I use the quest for perfection as motivation to create. I think and talk and type until my voice is heard.

I yell louder –  and over power.

I think deeper – and over intellectualize.

I focus harder-  and over work.

It is killing me.

Can I just hang there?  Can I hold a view on the edge that accepts the death of needing to solve the moment?  Can I then live within the fall of mind to heart?

Can I live in the pain of brokenness, of autumn’s peace and beauty and know season’s change is not my call to arms?

Can I just die a bit in the strain of change without the torture of failure?

 

Image courtesy of Brenda-meditative journey with saldage.